Are you or someone you know in a toxic relationship? I believe that lack of confidence and low self esteem issues attract toxic relationships.
Recently, one of my clients ended a toxic, dead end relationship.
She ended it by using pepper spray on her boyfriend - he attempted to hold her hostage by grabbing her cell phone and blocking the exist from his room. This was not the first time he did this – the first time, she had her cell phone and called someone for help.
For almost a year she refused to see the toxicity of this relationship and made excuses for her boyfriend’s unpredictable, possessive, infantile, aggressive, controlling behavior.
She swears that she stayed because she loved him. Nothing could be further from the truth. This is the voice of a woman who is insecure, lacks self confidence and over all her self esteem is low.
She allowed this toxic relationship to begin and continue because she did not love herself and did not believe she was worthy or deserving of anything better.
Women from all walks of life enter into and continue toxic relationships. Some of these women feel ashamed and find it difficult to admit they are in such a relationship. Some areas of their lives could be called “perfect.” They may be running a business, the CEO of a company, educated, smart and savvy. They have a great family and wonderful and supportive friends.
If you are confused as to whether your relationship is toxic or not – here are 30 signs of a toxic relationship and there are many more.
- He speaks ill of his family after knowing you for a few days.
- He continually questions your where a bouts.
- He does not like any of your friends.
- He never calls his mom.
- He belittles you.
- He has lost interest in his goals and just wants to be around you.
- He cries like a baby when you have a misunderstanding.
- He punches a hole in the wall because he can’t have his way.
- He will not give you room to breathe.
- He feels entitled to go every where with you and your friends.
- He calls you names.
- He wants to know who you are speaking to on the phone.
- He demands to see your text messages.
- He shows up unexpectedly when you are out because he feels you need protection.
- He showers you with gifts he really can’t afford.
- He feels you should be obligated because he has done so much for you.
- He is jealous because someone said “hello” to you.
- He tries to physically control you.
- He makes a scene in public.
- He makes a scene in front of your friends.
- He is uncompromising.
- You are his world
- He puts you on a pedestal
- You are always crying, feeling lost and confused in your relationship.
- The negatives of your relationship far outweigh the positives.
- He accuses you time and time again of not loving him.
- You are a mom and he is jealous of the time you spend with your children.
- He has a habit of blocking the door to keep you from leaving.
- He threatens to kill himself if you leave.
- He promises to change if you stay but he does not keep his promise when you stay.
If you are in a toxic relationship, I implore you - find the confidence to run, not walk, from this relationship. It’s only going to get worse.
If you need a coach/mentor to guide you contact me at adalia[at]askadalia[dot]com
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To your continued success filled with positive nurturing relationships!