The fear of being judge by others was my first post in my five part series “Are Any of These Five Fears Holding You Back?”

The fear of rejection is my second post of the series.

Most of us want to be loved and accepted.  This basic human need can become a toxic influence when the fear of being rejected becomes the primary motivator in your life.

The fear of rejection, as with all irrational fears, is a paralyzing emotion that keeps you from achieving success in relationships, career, business, and even with your health.

This fear keeps you in your comfort zone

Why tell your significant other what you want when it may not be fulfilled.

Why ask your boss for a raise when you could hear “no.”

Why call your possible clients when you may hear the dreaded “click.”

Why write that book when no one is going to buy it.

Why go to the doctor when you’re overweight.

Why take a chance on anything when rejection could be the outcome.

“A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success. ~ Bo Bennett

Fear of being rejected morphs you into a people pleaser

Your fear  makes you needy for acceptance. Lack of confidence and low self esteem creates a hunger for approval.

You go through life with a finger on the edit button.

You’re prepared to edit yourself to belong. After a while, YOU don’t even recognize your self. Your authenticity lost in a sea of fabrication and unworthiness.

He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. ~Raymond Hull

Fear robs you of your power

It’s difficult to be assertive and speak your truth when that monster “fear of rejection” lurks in the shadows. Time and time again you found yourself in uncomfortable situations because you were afraid to disagree with someone or about something.

Instead of being empowered because you belonged, you felt depressed, distraught and dis empowered.

Fear keeps you from addressing YOUR wants and needs.

Adding insult to injury, people take advantage of you because they can sense your fear and neediness.

 “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”  – Alice Walker

To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.  ~Bertrand Russell

Simple steps to overcome the fear of rejection

Step 1 – Habits fuel our everyday life.

For the next 21 days make a conscious decision to identify and record, in a journal, those areas of your life that are unfilled because of your fear.

Make a decision to change and re-write your story.

Step 2 –  The law of polarity says that everything has its opposite

On the other side of your fear of rejection is your unbridled passion to move forward in spite of your fear.

Find a quite place and use the steps from my previous post “quick relaxation” to get into that state. Visualize, imagine, picture, feel and even taste how your life will change when you move forward in spite of your fear. Give yourself permission to accept and allow the new and empowered you.

Rewrite your story. Open your eyes and immediately write down the life you will experience when fear of rejection is not  your motivator.

Step 3 – Come face to face with rejection

Each day, for the next 21 days, do at least one thing that the fear of being rejected kept you from doing. Your thoughts are powerful. Your subconscious mind does not know the difference between your imagination and what’s real. Your imagined rejections have been as real to your subconscious mind as if they really happened.

With that in mind, be courageous, move forward with fear and do the things you’re afraid to do. You will discover that being rejected, more often than not, was a figment of your imagination.

Step 4 –  Celebrate the empowered you

Each day embrace every opportunity, big and small, to pat yourself on the back.

Live your story. As with most habits there’s a possibility of going backwards. If and when this happens, accept this as an inconvenient detour and get back on the main road by starting again with step one.

You’ll develop a new habit of being unstoppable and unshakeable.

It’s a wrap

My post “rejection proof formula” gives two tips on how to live a rejection proof  life style.Your subconscious mind is home to all of your habits, good and bad. If  your subconscious is not accepting your new habit, my laser coaching will help you with this issue.

Your turn

Has the fear of rejection held you hostage in any are of your life?

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