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I am confident because I can admit who I am, what I’ve done, and love myself for who I’ve become. ~ unknown

Through song and her melodious voice, Tina Turner, asked the timeless question “What’s love got to do with it?”  And it fast became the anthem for unrequited love, broken hearts, and for those who were jaded; it validated their reason for not being vulnerable.

You and I know that love has everything to do with it – another timeless phrase also rings true – love makes the world go round.

Valentine’s Day is one of the most celebrated holidays of modern times and even though I am not a relationship expert, I’m tapping into my years of being in relationships, and observing those around me to share some ways on how you can have self-confidence in your romantic relationship.

Self-love is the foundation of all love –

All love begins with self-love:  a favorite topic of mine on my blog http://www.adaliaconfidenceandsuccessblog. If you don’t love yourself, take steps to fall in love with yourself, you’ll have the confidence to love and accept love.

If you’re uncertain about who you are and you don’t value yourself, you’ll attract someone who’ll abuse and misuse you. He/she will feed off of your insecurities and the relationship with not be healthy one.

Read about self-love here.


I know there’s the romantic notion that you become one in a relationship but, more often than not, this has a negative impact on the relationship. It’s important not be a reflection of your partner. Have your own identity and keep it intact. It keeps the relationship vibrant.


One of the biggest confidence destroyers in a relationship is lack of trust. Checking your partner’s e-mail, text messages, questioning his/her whereabouts and other such activities, wreak havoc on a relationship. Even though your partner may not be aware of your sneaky habits, your thoughts and your energy put a wedge in the relationship. What you’re afraid of you bring about by your own actions.

Quality time

Make spending time with your partner a priority. Once in a while it’s OK to do something with your partner that is not your favorite thing to do.  Your love will blossom and he/she will appreciate you even more. Make a conscious decision to keep the romance alive. A surprise from time to time will keep your relationship fresh.

Lone time

Alone time and interests that do not  include your partner is mandatory. It will build trust and your self-confidence.

Ask for what you want

Don’t expect your partner to read your mind. Ladies, I’m sure you can relate to this. I often times have to remind my daughter, female friends and clients of this one thing. Pouting, being angry and vindictive because your unexpressed needs and/or wants are not being met will not fulfill them. Share your needs and wants with your significant other. You’ll be pleasantly surprised that your partner wants to please you.

Focus on the positives

Resist the temptation to share your partner’s perceived wrong doings  with everyone. Of course, it goes without saying; I’m not referring to abuse of any kind. If all you can talk about is the negatives in your relationship, it’s time to go within and examine why you’re in the relationship. Nurture yourself and your relationship with positive conversation and self-talk.

Share a secret

When I was a student, at Hypnosis Motivation Institute, one of the instructors shared a valuable tip that helped to build trust between me and my clients. He told us to ask our clients to share a secret. It works!

Share a secret with your loved one and encourage him/her to do the same. It will strengthen the bond between the two of you.


In my post “practice the art of listening” I talked about the importance of listening.  Listen to your partner. Listen more than you speak. Don’t assume you know what he/she is going to say. Don’t be afraid to ask for clarification, if you don’t understand what’s been said. Allow your partner to speak freely without judgment or condemnation. He/she will be comfortable sharing just about anything with you.

Remain authentic

Don’t edit yourself to fit what you THINK your partner wants you to be. Be the best version of yourself and it will keep your confidence level high. If your partner is uncomfortable with the authentic, it’s time to re-think the relationship.

It’s a wrap

Sharing your life with someone has many challenges. Constant worry, lack of trust and discontent are sure fire ways to erode your self-confidence in your relationship. Don’t sweat the small stuff in your relationship. Don’t allow your partner to take you for granted and you shouldn’t take him/her for

granted either.  Vocalize your appreciation and love for your significant other. This can, hopefully, influence him/her to do the same.

Your turn

What do you do to have self-confidence in your relationship?

If you’re tired of feeling like you’re not good enough – you’ll benefit from my FREE strategy session. Contact me today. You’ll be glad you did.

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