If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete ~ Jack Kornfield

Today I want to share a Ted Talks video with you about self-compassion and self-esteem.

The self-esteem movement has a downside – too many people are narcissistic because of an over-indulgence in self-esteem.

Dr. Kristin Neff, Associate Professor in Human Development and Culture, Educational Psychology Department, University of Texas at Austin, has spent years researching self-compassion and self-esteem. She shares her findings in her talk at TEDxCentennialParkWomen.

Here’s a brief overview of my take aways:

Self-esteem is a global evaluation of self-worth. A judgement as to whether you’re a good person or a bad person.

For years psychologist saw self-esteem as the ultimate marker of psychological health.

In the American culture to have high self-esteem you have to feel special and above average.

People who are prejudice and those who bully do so to enhance  their own self-esteem. (that’s food for thought)

One of the big problems with self-esteem is that it’s contingent upon success. To have self-esteem you must have success in your chosen domains, and women’s number one domain for self-esteem (this starts in third grade) is outer beauty. ( this is tragic)

Self-compassion offers the benefits of self-esteem without the pitfalls.

Self-compassion has nothing to do with judging yourself positively, it’s a way of relating to yourself kindly – embracing yourself as you are, flaws and all.

You should treat yourself with the same kindness, care and concern that you’d show a good friend.

There are three core components to self-compassion – self-kindness, common humanity and being mindful.

Watch the video below and share your valuable insights.

It’s a wrap

When I listen to Dr. Kristin’s talk about self-compassion, it sounds a lot like one of my favorite topics, self-love. I’ve written a post about self-love here and here

Your turn

Do you see any similarities between self-compassion and self-love?

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