Have you ever met someone who defined his/her life by a single negative story?
In 2009 I came to the realization that I had formed an opinion about a distant relative solely on a single negative story. A story told to me, when I was 10 years old, by a trusted, inner circle family member.
A video I watched on Ted Talks shifted my thinking and I decided to reach out to this distant relative and it was like an awakening, I discovered there was more to this person than the single story.
It’s dangerous to judge a person, a people, a culture, or just about anyone by a single story.
The talk was by Novelist Chimamanda Adichie . Chimamanda tells the story of how she found her authentic cultural voice — and warns that if we hear only a single story about another person or country, we risk a critical misunderstanding.
Our lives, our cultures, are composed of many overlapping stories ~ Novelist Chimamanda Adichie
Watch video below.
Your turn
Are you guilty of judging another person, country, or group of people by a single story?
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A Lovely post to remind us not to judge books by their cover. Everyone has history, and most change over time. Thank you for reminding us to see through chit chat and make up our own minds…
Hello Colette,
We should accept others based on their reality not ours.
Great post. I was raised in a non-religious family and thought there was an “us” vs “them” – judge them first before they judge you. Years of interacting with people of many different religions (and discovering my own spiritual life) helped me realize how unhelpful this construct was. Good thing, too, since I married someone who belonged to a church community!
I’m glad you had an awakening. Religion should be bringing us together not pulling us apart. And from what I’ve read, the source from all religions wants everyone to live in peace, love and harmony.
Wonderful post. The ability to suspend judgement of others is what meeting people at a point of curiousity and interest is about. It is one of the most powerful leadership skills. There is also another good concept which is the answer to the question, “Is there another way to look at this?” More often than not, there is.
Thanks for your insightful comment Dianne. You have a way of connecting most situations to your amazing program. Kudos!!!
Great topic, Adalia. I also have come to realize (and I teach this to my clients) that we often judge people by our point of reference, when it’s really important to realize that everyone has their own points of reference and hot to hold people to our own standards. It’s very freeing! Thanks for writing about this topic.
Your are correct Kate. My daughter made this important observation about some forms of therapy:some therapist bring their own point of reference into the therapy. This can be problematic for the client who’s trusting this therapist.
Been uncovering stories myself lately – thank you for the validation about the importance of this deep inner work of surfacing and revisioning the stories that we carry – this week I had an experience with a prospect who’s name was the EXACT same as the name of a girl who used to taunt me unmercifully in the school yard because she thought I was rich (because my dad always had a new care – he worked at a car dealership!) and realized I was carrying this perception that if I became “rich” that I’d be taunted unmercifully again – time to let that one go!
Hello Amethyst,
Thanks so much for sharing … Yes, it’s good for our overall well being to confront those beliefs that limit our potential. I appreciate the way you look into the mirror of your life with honesty. Keep climbing your Mt Everest and helping others to perfect their potential.