Are we born with confidence? When my four children were babies, their attitude and behavior told me YES.
I read a few articles that theorize that babies are not born with confidence but learn it from their parents or people of influence in their early lives. I believe the opposite is true – I came to this conclusion from not only observing my four children when they were babies but also my adorable granddaughter, who is now 6 years old.
A baby’s confidence is either nourished and allowed to blossom or stomped on and thereby suppressed.
Confidence – as defined by Dictionary.com – is the belief in oneself and one’s ability.
When babies begin to explore their new world, they are curious and confident. They don’t take no for an answer, they keep trying. They stand with confidence and take that first step and they beam with pride at their accomplishment – when they fall, they pick themselves up and keep on trying.
My youngest son Yusef has 3 siblings who are several years older than him. One day, when he was about 3 years old, I stood by the pool holding him in my arms – watching his siblings playing in the pool – he leaped from my arms into the pool and began to swim as if he had done it before. I was scared and amazed but remained calm. He’s been swimming ever since and never had a swimming lesson.
When my granddaughter was a year old, on one of her regular visits she saw me lifting my five pound weights and she picked up both of them and began doing curls! That’s confidence.
I can go on with the stories about how my children and granddaughter showed confidence. There are those who may interpret some of these behaviors as being dangerous, and this is one of the many instances where a child’s confidence gets crushed.
As wise adults, it’s our responsibility to guide our children, to help them to become aware of dangerous situations and keep them out of harms way. Unfortunately, many well intentioned adults take it to the extreme.
When children attempt something new, too many adults over react and when children hear too many NOS, DON’T DO THAT, YOU CAN’T and the like – their confidence recedes and becomes dormant like a volcano.
Some more permanently than others.
I believe that babies are born with the innate ability to believe in themselves and their capabilities. Between age 0 and about 6 years old, the people of influence – their parents, caretakers and/or the children’s perceived reality, allow this belief to take hold and become firmly embedded in their subconscious minds or it’s crushed and lack of confidence becomes the automated, default internal drive.
Resources:
Yahoo Answers
Steve Olsen
Champions Club
Confident Baby Video:
Thanks for stopping by. What do you think? Are we born with confidence? Let’s continue the conversation in the comment section at the top of the post. I am ever so thankful for your retweets and Facebook mentions.
Hi Adalia,
I enjoyed your post and believe that we are born with innate confidence, curiosity and an open heart. Although I believe it's also possible to take in negative influences in the womb, I feel that well-intentiond guardians and authorities begin to chisel away at our natural "selves" as you mentioned.
Thanks for putting your thoughts out here. What I take from this is an affirmation that I was born without limits and it's possible to get back there!! love, Vickie.
Hi Adalia! I agree that babies are born with confidence. I noticed when my kids were little that the world had no limitations for them. They were so fearless… and this scared me a bit. As a parent trying to protect them, I was the one who imposed limitations. Hopefully I didn't impose too many limitations and crashed their confidence. Time will tell….
Thanks for the lovely post! Loving blessings!
Andrea how awesome, I appreciate you taking time to comment on my post. I know, parents have good intentions – children are resilient and most will grow up to be happy, productive citizens of the world.
Children may not believe in themselves the way we think of confidence. However, they have no non-belief, so they have an ever growing ability to achieve.
I think that on some level children are born with sincerity too. They have a natural appreciation for life. I wonder if we teach our children to be insincere when we tell them to say thank you. Rather than teaching children to say the courteous things, helping them develop their normal appreciation could be more helpful.
Hello Sandra, thanks for commenting – I believe children are honest – they will tell you what they truly feel. However, adults will say “oh don’t say that, you’ll hurt his/her feelings.” It takes them a while to learn to be “diplomatic.” In these early years, is it diplomacy or is it lying? Food for thought and might be a great topic for a post.