Tips to build self-confidence in your relationship
How to build self-confidence in your relationship

I am confident because I can admit who I am, what I've done, and love myself for who I've become. ~ unknown #selfconfidence #selflove Click To Tweet

Through song and her melodious voice, Tina Turner, asked the timeless question “What’s love got to do with it?”  It quickly became the anthem for unrequited love, broken hearts, and for those who were jaded. It validated their reason for not being vulnerable.

You and I know that love has everything to do with it. And another timeless phrase also rings true – love makes the world go round.

Valentine’s Day is one of the most celebrated holidays of modern times. Even though I’m not a relationship expert, I’m tapping into my  own relationship experience, and  the relationships of those around me, to share some ways on how you can have self-confidence in your romantic relationship.

Self-love is the foundation of all love –

All love begins with self-love. If you don’t love yourself, take steps to fall in love with yourself today. This will give you the confidence to give love and accept love.

If you’re uncertain about who you are and you don’t value yourself, you’ll attract an abusive partner. Your insecurity is a magnet that attracts toxic relationships.

Read about self-love here.


I know there’s the romantic notion that you become one in a relationship but, more often than not, this has a negative impact on the relationship. It’s important not be a reflection of your partner. Have your own identity and keep it intact. It keeps the relationship vibrant.


One of the biggest confidence destroyers in a relationship is lack of trust. Checking your partner’s e-mail, text messages, questioning his/her whereabouts and other such activities, wreak havoc on a relationship. Even though your partner may not be aware of your sneaky habits, your thoughts and your energy put a wedge in the relationship. What you’re afraid of you bring about your own actions.

Quality time

Make spending time with your partner a priority. Once in a while it’s OK to do something with your partner that is not your favorite thing to do.  Your love will blossom and your partner will appreciate you even more. Make a conscious decision to keep the romance alive. A surprise from time to time will keep your relationship fresh.

Lone time

Alone time and interests that do not  include your partner is mandatory. It will build trust and your self-confidence.

Ask for what you want

Don’t expect your partner to read your mind. Ladies, I’m sure you can relate to this. I often times have to remind my daughter, female friends and clients of this one thing. Pouting, being angry and vindictive because your unexpressed needs and/or wants are not being met will not fulfill them. Share your needs and wants with your significant other. You’ll be pleasantly surprised that your partner wants to please you.

Focus on the positives

Resist the temptation to share your partner’s perceived wrong doings  with everyone. Of course, it goes without saying; I’m not referring to abuse of any kind. If you only share the negatives in your relationship, it’s time to go within and examine why you’re in the relationship.

Nurture yourself and your relationship with positive conversation and self-talk.

Share a secret

When I was a student, at Hypnosis Motivation Institute, one of the instructors shared a valuable tip that helped to build trust between me and my clients. He told us to ask our clients to share a secret. It works!

Share a secret with your loved one and encourage to do the same. It will strengthen the bond between the two of you.


In my post “practice the art of listening” I discussed the importance of listening.  Listen to your partner. Listen more than you speak. Don’t assume you know what’s going to be said.  If you don’t understand what’s been shared, don’t be afraid to ask for clarification. Allow your partner to speak freely, without judgment. You’ll be that safe place for your partner to comfortable sharing just about anything with you.

Remain authentic

Don’t edit yourself to fit what you THINK your partner wants you to be. Be the best version of yourself and it will keep your confidence level high. If your partner is uncomfortable with the real you, it’s time to re-think the relationship.

It’s a wrap

Sharing your life with someone has many challenges. Constant worry, lack of trust and discontent are sure fire ways to erode your self-confidence in your relationship. Don’t sweat the small stuff in your relationship. Don’t allow your partner to take you for granted or vice-versa. Express your love and show gratitude towards your partner.  More often than not, this has a positive impact on the longevity of your relationship.

Your turn

What do you do to have self-confidence in your relationship?

If you’re tired of feeling like you’re not good enough – you’ll benefit from my FREE strategy session. Contact me today. You’ll be glad you did.

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