Self-confidence is something many women struggle with. Living in a world with unreachable standards, if you allow it, can deplete your psyche.  You must remember that even though society and your negative self-talk say you’re not good enough, don’t believe it, and don’t allow it to control your life.

Sometimes, we need to be reminded that self-confidence is a gift you give yourself.

Tracy had low self-confidence all her life. An undiagnosed reading disorder meant she struggled in school and college. A verbally abusive spouse meant she was often belittled at home.

But despite this Tracy was able to shine at work where she was a book cover designer. Her skills meant she was employed by one of the top New York publishing houses and one of the editors took Tracy under her wing.

She noticed Tracy’s low self-esteem and encouraged her to focus on developing her self-confidence. She said, “Think of self-confidence as a gift you give yourself.”

As Tracy began working on her confidence, she noticed many wonderful benefits to it. Here are just a few of the gifts that come from developing your own self-confidence…

Understand Your Value

Tracy had undervalued her skills for years thinking she didn’t really do anything special. But when she was at the company’s town hall meeting one day, she realized all of their best-sellers were covers she had designed.

Becoming confident means that you begin to recognize the value you bring into a situation. This might be the years of experience you have, the unique gift of discernment, or the gentle leadership style you employ.

It’s easy to downplay these gifts and think they don’t mean much. But self-confidence means you begin to appreciate and celebrate these wonderful qualities in yourself.

Know What You Want

The more confident you become, the easier it gets to know your own mind. That’s because you’re no longer overwhelmed by doubt, insecurity, and fear constantly. With your mind quiet, you’re finally free to listen to your wise inner voice.

Many women are not living lives that make them happy simply because they don’t know what they want. This disconnect from their authentic selves means they accept situations that make them miserable and believe they can’t do anything.

But women with confidence learn to slow down and listen to their guide. They recognize their strong, beautiful authentic self and they work hard to stay in tune with her.

Discover the Ability to Dream

The ability to dream—to imagine a different life than the one you currently live—is a rare and precious gift. It’s also a hallmark of confidence.

When you’re confident in yourself and your abilities, you’re free to imagine anything you want. You might be happily married with three kids and suddenly discover that what you’re really dreaming of is living a nomadic lifestyle for the next year in an RV with your children.

Confidence doesn’t mean that you’ll wave a magic wand and make this happen tomorrow. But it does mean that you’ll have the courage to look at your dream and say, “I have the power to make this a reality!”

Embrace Laughing at Yourself

The more confident you become, the easier it is to laugh at yourself. That’s because when you’re confident, you’re no longer so focused on your insecurities and busy fearing that everyone saw you mess up.

Instead, you’ll give yourself the grace to be human, acknowledge your mistake, and laugh it off. You’re free to make all the mistakes you need to when you’re fully confident in who you are.

Surround Yourself with Community

There’s something about an authentic, confident woman that invites community. People want to be like her. They want to hear how she did it. They want that confidence to rub off on them. So, they come close, they gather around her.

The truth is that like attracts like within the universe. This is especially true when it comes to friendship. The more confident and authentic you are, the more you’ll attract friends who are also confident and authentic.

Find True Happiness

As your confidence grows, you may also notice another unexpected gift: happiness. The more confident you are, the less time you spend scrolling through an app filled with pretty pictures, wishing that were your life.

Instead, confidence gives you the ability to appreciate what you have and rest secure in the knowledge of who you are. A confident woman recognizes that no one’s life is “Instagram perfect” and she doesn’t try to make hers like that.

Be Fully Present

Nothing is as powerful for your mindfulness as confidence. Since you’re no longer distracted by what everyone else might be thinking of you, you’re free to be fully present right where you are.

Instead of worrying that other moms are judging you because you let your toddler eat crushed up chips from the floor of your minivan, you can focus on enjoying the moment with your child, content in the knowledge that those chips probably aren’t going to harm him (even if they weren’t the baked organic kind).

Part of being self-confident means that you release the weight of everyone else’s opinions, regardless of whether you agree with them or not. You listen to your own inner compass and trust that she’s a smart guide who knows the way. The beauty of doing this is not only will you feel free, but you’ll be appreciating your life as it happens.

Explore New Challenges

When you lack confidence, challenges are something you must hide from. They might reveal a weak spot, a vulnerability, or one of your insecurities. You work hard to only take on tasks that you know you’ll shine at.

As a result, you never get to explore new challenges. You don’t get the thrill of tackling a huge new project at work or home. You don’t get to step outside of the tiny box of “things you are good at”.

But what if you did? What if you discovered that despite what your high school art teacher said you can paint a beautiful mural on your bedroom wall? What if you found out that you really do have a talent for refashioning old furniture?

When you focus on building your confidence, you can look a challenge in the eye and boldly take it on. Your confidence doesn’t mean that you’ll automatically excel at everything you do. But it does mean you’re willing to step out and try new things.

Recognize Your Resilience

Perhaps the most beautiful gift that comes from developing your self-confidence is your recognition of your own resilience. Resilience is the ability to face disasters, setbacks, and problems. But not only to face them but to overcome them with grace and grit.

Resilience doesn’t mean that you don’t ever get tired or overwhelmed. Sometimes there will be problems that you have to put down for a day or two before you tackle them fresh again. That’s completely normal.

What resilience does mean is that you don’t give up. You keep showing up to face the problem, obstacle, or setback again and again. You’re showing up because you know deep inside that you’re a tough warrior who can win the battle.

Isn’t It Time You Opened This Gift?

If self-confidence is a gift, then you must accept it. You must lovingly grant yourself this gift as the giver and you must openly receive this gift as the receiver. Lift your hands high and say, “I give myself the gift of self-confidence.” Share on X

Pause and wait a moment in silence. With your hands still lifted high, say out loud, “I accept the gift of self-confidence.”

By doing this, you’re sending a powerful message to the Universe that not only do you want more self-confidence, but you’re also ready to accept it and own it!

In conclusion, the journey of being secure in yourself and genuinely believing in yourself and your abilities can be a long one, but it’s worth every second. There is no shame in rooting for your own growth. You are entitled to the power, security, happiness, and so much more that comes from self-confidence.

It’s time to stop your wishful thinking and claim your gift of self-confidence. Share on X

It’s a wrap

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If your confidence needs a boost,  jumpstart the process with my  21 Days of Confidence Boosting Tips.